hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
