3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
