I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
