At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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