HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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