So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
bring money and cleavage
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
