He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
