I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
