We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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