Screwed.edu
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
