Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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