the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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