CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
