Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize