found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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