What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
