He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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