just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead