Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks. http://tfl.nu/cmzt
  Replies (21) Good night (859) Bad night (4691)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie. http://tfl.nu/58ia
  Replies (12) Good night (5380) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  can your parents tell?

  (310): View more from California

  i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): can your parents tell? (310): i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know http://tfl.nu/rda5
  Replies (26) Good night (9806) Bad night (1706)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4
  Replies (35) Good night (10679) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise. http://tfl.nu/943e
  Replies (25) Good night (7610) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n http://tfl.nu/g66p
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult. http://tfl.nu/fe1g
  Replies (27) Good night (890) Bad night (3309)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them. http://tfl.nu/l1v8
  Replies (2) Good night (1408) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (2216) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges. http://tfl.nu/t5l6
  Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs... http://tfl.nu/1hpf
  Replies (2) Good night (1582) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent. http://tfl.nu/v6g7
  Replies (9) Good night (489) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1666) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS... http://tfl.nu/5739
  Replies (8) Good night (1098) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz http://tfl.nu/s64c
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (375)

Randomize