so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i will never coherently bang her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
