4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year