Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

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  (845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo http://tfl.nu/oxyw
  Replies (8) Good night (1273) Bad night (751)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

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  (713): Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/xlmv
  Replies (48) Good night (1255) Bad night (2660)
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  (716): View more from New York

  you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority

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  (716): you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority http://tfl.nu/980f
  Replies (27) Good night (5215) Bad night (2085)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.

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  (509): You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters. http://tfl.nu/qaew
  Replies (6) Good night (2818) Bad night (988)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (785): sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/vv7s
  Replies (8) Good night (2675) Bad night (1093)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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  (915): Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me. http://tfl.nu/qov1
  Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (2626)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2625) Bad night (885)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra

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  (260): I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra http://tfl.nu/100u
  Replies (7) Good night (1406) Bad night (1126)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off

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  (916): When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong. (1-916): Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off http://tfl.nu/emwi
  Replies (3) Good night (1449) Bad night (636)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

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  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (556)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means

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  (610): Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means http://tfl.nu/2dw5
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (482)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.

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  (321): Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up. http://tfl.nu/21lu
  Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (667)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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  (856): also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true http://tfl.nu/ky73
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (387)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.

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  (317): That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants. http://tfl.nu/8iil
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (467)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.

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  (479): It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there. http://tfl.nu/imls
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (243)

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