i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.