omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job