Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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only you would photoshop your dick
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?