He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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