paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just took my morning after pill in the library
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
