I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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