we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
