can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
