If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
