You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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