I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize