Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize