I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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