somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
