You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
4 words: hood of his car
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize