HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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