he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize