She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
