If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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