Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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