i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Damn victory sex feels great
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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