i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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