He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
