I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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