did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
