i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
