**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If I die, sorry about rent.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
