I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
