butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
