i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
