idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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