Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize