Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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