yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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