Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
