im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
