one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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