There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
