What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
