What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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