If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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