i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
