Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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