ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
