my sisters under your porch take her home
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
