last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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