If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
