Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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