Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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