standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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