foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize