YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
