That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
