You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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