Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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