it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
